I've lived on my own for a lot of my life. I've never had trouble sleeping in a house by myself or been scared someone would come in and rob or hurt me. And I've lived in some pretty shady places. Now that I'm married and we have a home, all of a sudden I have a fear of being outside our house at night alone. It's crazy, I know! We have a huge yard that's fenced in. No one is getting in or out of that yard without a lot of noise and probably broken bones. It's so dark everywhere except right on our porch, that they would either run into 1 of a zillion pine trees we have in the yard or they'll fall into a hole that our old dog dug. (We gave the dog away because she is literally a bitch and chewed all the screen off my porch...and she smells and shed, and you know me - it's all disgusting)
I know all this and I still make either my husband or my brother walk outside with me at night. Now Brother doesn't mind, but Husband, oh he gets a little aggravated. He calls me scared-y cat. He asked why I think someone is coming to get me. My answer - Because I'm special and awesome? I don't know. He says I have to get over this fear, no one is going to get me. . Why don't I believe him? Where did this fear come from all of a sudden? It's so weird. But I still think I hear stuff when I'm out there alone and then I bang on the back door window and make one of them come outside. It's kind of funny but kind of not.
One night I heard someone in the yard. Now I realize it was in the yard behind our house, but still. I yelled, "Hello?" And then I didn't hear anything. Husband asked me later, "What are you gonna do if someone says hello back?" Um, run and yell and probably break my leg trying to get in the house. Or maybe even have a freaking heart attack from fear. Duh.
Then one night I walked out there and heard a noise to my left. I look over expecting to see the Grim Reaper or something and it was a cat. A stinking cat (not ours) sliding down a tree. It was just like in a cartoon, with the claws holding on for dear life and the cats eyes as big as saucers. So after, I jumped back in the house and told my husband what happened, he laughed and still had to come outside with me. So, it turned out not to be as funny since he had to go out with me after that.
But, what if I get taken? I don't "cook", not really. (Experimenting with Pinterest recipes on my brother and husband don't count as cooking.) I don't wash men's clothes. I like to sleep a lot. I do like to clean but I really doubt a kidnapper will keep me around just to clean the house. And if I was taken and they tried to make me cook for them or wash their clothes, well I'd just get highly pissed off and probably go all crazy Mexican girl on them. And hopefully they would drop me back off at my house.
So, I have issues. Don't we all? I'm going to try and work on these fears and push through. And maybe by the end of this year, I can walk outside by myself at night and not have a mini-heart attack at every sound. Wish me luck!!